You Know What You Need to Do. So Why Can’t You Get Your Schtick Together??

The Answer Might Surprise You.

I would like to tell you about someone. We’ll call her Rosie.

Rosie is a single mom of two small children, one of whom has some special needs. For more years than she can remember, Rosie has somehow managed to take care of the kids, run her home, and work a full-time job.

There’s no such thing as downtime for Rosie. Even enjoying a cup of coffee can be a challenge. The cup often sits in the microwave, having been reheated twice already. Some nights, she forgets to eat, and dinner ends up being a bowl of cereal at 9 p.m. while standing over the sink. She considers herself lucky if she gets five or six hours of sleep.

To complicate matters, Rosie is going through some… hormonal changes. On top of the fatigue, she deals with brain fog, forgetting simple things, and generally feeling scatterbrained. Multiple calendars, whiteboards, and sticky notes are the only way she keeps up with it all.

She has a running list of things she’s been putting off, and it only adds to the overwhelm.

Rosie knows what needs to get done, but she can’t seem to find the time or energy. She routinely tells herself that life would be more manageable if only she could get her stuff together.

Sound familiar?

Your own situation might not be exactly like Rosie’s, but her story may still resonate. I see it play out, in different forms, in my work regularly.

A large number of my clients are professional women and working moms. They seek out my services as a personal concierge for help with home organization, decluttering, and tackling their to-do lists. Some will admit to having ADHD or OCD. Others just blame themselves for “allowing” things to get out of control.

Here’s the thing: I often find their situation to be a bit more layered than they might even realize.

Many of these women are neurodivergent themselves.

To be clear, I’m not a medical or mental health professional, and I’m not qualified or licensed to diagnose anyone. But what many of these women believe is a lack of discipline, I recognize as behaviors or struggles that can be associated with ADHD, OCD, or autism spectrum disorder. For some, there may also be trauma-related responses at play.

You read that right. Trauma.

These women aren’t “slacking.” They’re overwhelmed.

They may be experiencing cognitive overload, which can lead to decision fatigue and, eventually, what feels like a neurological “crash” or freeze. They’re mentally overwhelmed to the point that taking action can feel almost impossible.

Some will admit they’ve suspected they are neurodivergent, but because they’ve never been officially “diagnosed” with anything, they’ve dismissed it.

My unofficial assessment comes from both professional and personal lived experience. As someone who wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until my 50s, but always knew my brain was working on a different operating system, I recognize many of these signs and struggles because I’ve experienced them myself.

I still do.

Life can be overwhelming, especially when you’re dealing with sleep deprivation, chronic pain, fluctuating hormones, high stress, and challenges with focus, motivation, and executive functioning.

If any of what I’ve mentioned resonates with you, I’d like to say this:

When we’re in survival mode, we don’t see how well we’re “surviving.”

We think we can do better.

It can feel like we are failing at life, failing ourselves, and even failing our kids. But as someone who can offer an outside perspective, I want you to know that is the furthest thing from the truth.

Many of the moms (and dads) who doubt themselves are some of the strongest individuals I’ve ever met.

And if you know anything about my background, that says a lot!

You are not lazy or undisciplined.

There is nothing “wrong” with you.

You just might need a different type of support system.

And maybe you need to extend yourself a little grace, too.